Source: Senior Dietitian, Ng Yiu Fun
Many parents ask me, “Does my child need to take supplements?” For example, would fish oil or DHA be better for him? I have children myself, and I don’t let them take any supplements. But some parents say, “Is it really smarter to take supplements?”
In fact, if you have a balanced diet, you don’t need any supplements. Why? For example, if you take too much fish oil, it will have an excessive blood-thinning effect, and you will easily bleed out. So we say that if you take too much fish oil, it may not be good for your child.
We may have to figure out how to add a little bit of fish to our food. For example, if he doesn’t like eating fish, we can dip the fish in batter and bake it to make it feel crispy and tasty. Or when cooking spaghetti, you can add some crustaceans, such as clams, which are easy for children to absorb. Also, simple foods such as seaweed have ingredients that make them smarter.
As for the parents, they may think that if they take more calcium supplements, their children will grow taller. This is also not necessary, because if you take too many calcium tablets, it will be very easy to give him kidney stones. We can let children drink milk, tofu, or soy milk to help them absorb calcium without the need for special supplements.
Source: Parenting Specialist, Ken Sir
Some mothers often ask me, “How should I show my love for my children?” Will it be spoiled by expressing too much? I think that Chinese people are more introverted and are often afraid to express their love. Especially when you want to express your concern for him but end up with a different attitude.
I once saw a mother and her little child lost in Shatin and then reunited. How did the mother behave after the reunion? She grabbed him by the hand and hit him while saying, “I just couldn’t see you; do you know how scared I was?” I am very worried about you. What can I do if I can’t see you?
In fact, everyone knows that his mother loves him, but the child cannot feel it. I often share an example of how to express love in my lectures. When I was a child, my father ordered a drink, and since he didn’t have much money at the time, he asked the waiter for an extra cup after ordering a hot drink. He kept pouring the drinks around in front of me, trying to get the drinks cold as soon as possible so that the kids wouldn’t burn their mouths when they drank them and they could drink them faster, but I found that if the kids asked their parents or I asked many of the student’s parents, they would all answer, “This will get cold faster.”
When responding to children, parents should express their deepest feelings, such as “Because I love you, how would I do this thing if I didn’t love you?” Do I do it for the one next to me? In fact, there are many things we can do in life to express love, but there is one thing we must remember if we are to avoid causing spoiled, you must remember the following two points.
The first point is that if a child can do something, he should be allowed to do it; you should not fight to make him do it. The second point is that when a child makes a mistake, we should correct him. In the process of correction, we should be gentle and firm, and serious when we need to be serious. However, remind the child that he or she should be told the solution, not just no or wrong. If so, the child will not improve.
Written by : Founder of Family Dynamics
Marriage and Family Therapist
Children Play Therapist
Ng Yee Kam
In recent play therapy cases, several of the children’s emotional problems were related to their young siblings’ relationship. Most of these problems were not caused by major arguments, but rather by subtle interactions in which each child was seeking the mother’s attention, comparing how much positive feedback they received from each other, and comparing who the mother “loved” more! Children often fight with each other because they are jealous of their siblings and take the opportunity to vent their frustrations.
It is true that everyone is “biased” and so are parents. Both inborn and nurtured personalities can lead to a preference for certain behaviors and behavioral patterns. If parents do not think about this, they will not suddenly become more open-minded because their children are their own.
Parents may be more appreciative of certain traits and more resistant to certain traits in their children’s different personalities. This is understandable. The problem is that parents must be aware of this situation and be aware of it and allow themselves to grow beyond the narrow framework of their parental role, increase the breadth and width of their own vision, learn to appreciate the differences in their children’s personalities, and appreciate their children’s unique strengths from the bottom of their hearts, and pass them on in their daily lives so that their children can receive them and affirm themselves. This will prevent the problem of sibling rivalry from worsening and causing unnecessary jealousy and suspicion in children.
The mother’s role is especially important during the early years of a child’s life because the quality of the mother’s interaction with the child has a critical impact on the child’s self-worth and sense of security. In these recent cases, it was not uncommon to find that the children had a sibling in the family who was cheerful, understanding, and liked to express herself, and was well liked by adults and teachers. I could see the mother’s joy and pride when describing her child. No wonder the children in these cases often felt compared to the others because they were more introverted, reticent, shy and cautious.
One mother was aware of the need to appreciate her son’s abilities, so she kept praising him, but in terms of character, she inadvertently encouraged her son to follow her sister’s example by expressing himself more and integrating into the group. However, this is not the nature of the child’s character and makes the child suspect that there must be something wrong with his or her character that cannot be accepted by the mother. This internal pain can easily turn into jealous emotions towards the elder sister, making the parents feel that the child’s attitude towards his/her sister is unreasonable, and further preventing the child from breaking out of this negative cycle.
I suggest that parents should not compare their children. For children who are more introverted, shy, reticent and cautious, they should be more reassuring: ” You do not need to force yourself to play with children like your brother, you quietly observe is already a kind of participation, when you feel at ease then go out to play is not too late. Or, “Not every child needs to be as talkative as their elder sister or like to perform in front of people; Mom likes it when you can express yourself as you see fit. “
For children who are more reactive and impulsive, listen to them first and then help them correct their behavior if it is safe to do so: “You are reacting so strongly to hit your brother, you must feel very angry inside, let me hear how you feel, okay? Sometimes parents do have to deal with their children “fighting for something,” but more often than not, what parents need to do is to meet their children’s psychological and emotional needs and affirm their true nature, so that their children can naturally get along well.
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Written by : Chiropractor, Dr. Wan Man Ho
Children are prone to sitting problems, even scoliosis and kyphosis. Parents should find out their children’s problems early and make corrections. But how can parents tell when their children have scoliosis and kyphosis problems?
For scoliosis, parents can try the Adam Test, a common test used by chiropractors, by asking a child to bend forward with his hands on the ground and see if there is a problem with the muscles on either side of the spine. If there is, it means that there is a high probability of scoliosis.
In terms of kyphosis, it means looking from the side, the head is in front of the body, as if the neck is stretched out, or the head is bowed for a long time and the shoulders are bent forward. Most children in Hong Kong have a functional condition, and often, as long as they are reminded to sit up straight, they will be able to sit up straight and stop having a kyphosis.
To improve the kyphosis, the most important thing is to open both shoulders, use the strength of the waist to lift the chest, and bring the chin back near the head. This is the most correct sitting posture and will improve the kyphosis.
Spine problems are related to the foot?
Some children have flat feet, resulting in a bit of in-toeing or out-toeing. The shape of the foot will slowly affect the pelvis and create some highs and lows.
If a child often bumps his knees when learning to walk or even trips over himself after a few steps, this may be a case of in-toeing or even an imbalance of the feet.
If your child has any of these problems, you should take him or her to a professional, such as a chiropractor, physiotherapist, or even a podiatrist, to get checked out.
Written by: Psychotherapist, Lee Wai Tong
Many parents have found that their children have felt a little more angry since the age of 2, which is generally referred to as “Trouble 2.” In fact, anger is an emotion that children feel when they do not get what they want. However, in addition to anger, there is also the feeling of disappointment. However, many parents ignore it and only see the child’s anger without understanding the disappointment behind it.
In fact, we focus more on the feeling of disappointment. For example, when he cannot get an object or buy it, our reaction will be “it’s a pity that we can’t get it this time,” and we will hug him. In fact, he will feel disappointment, and the feeling of anger will be replaced. Does anger always lead to hitting? This is another question. Some parents say that I did not hit him, but why would he hit someone when he is angry? It is, in fact, related to the intensity.
For example, if a child is holding a box of toys and wishes to purchase it, but the parent does not wish to purchase it. Instead of snatching it away and saying no, tell him, “Yes, you can’t buy it this time,” “You can hold it and look at it,” and “Put it down after looking at it.” When the child feels the feeling of anger, not force, the child will eliminate the idea of “hitting.”
As a child grows up and interacts with the environment and people around him or her, he or she will gradually develop some feelings. Children will use these feelings to choose what they like or dislike, which is normal development for children. Mom says that her son is beginning to have an opinion, which means that he is expressing these feelings and that he has his own choices. Mom found out that his choice was not to choose herself but to choose Dad to play and read books with him.
There is a possibility that the son likes books and toys, that may not be the kind that his mother chooses, so he slowly begins to think that his mother may not be the right person to play with him. So the content of the play may be one of the reasons. Mothers can try to give their children more space to choose the toys they like to play with when they play with them. For example, sometimes our son likes to read a book, and he may look through it many times, so we can give him some space. Even when he likes it, we can continue to let him read the book, continue to talk to him about the book, and give them some space to choose for themselves!
Another possible reason is attitude. First of all, the mother can observe if she makes the child feel comfortable, happy, and joyful when playing with him, or if she is very nervous when playing and has to worry about him doing this and that—a lot of regulation—or if the mother is always leading him and giving him instructions, or if she unknowingly quizzes him during play: “How do you call this?” and “What color is this?”, “What is this symbol?”, “What is this mark?”
When playing, we need to let go of these so-called educational ideas, we don’t need to be strict and serious, so that we can build a happy and enjoyable experience for our children. Children need to be relaxed when they play. We don’t want to test them, we want them to have their own space and freedom of choice, and this is real play.
Once he chooses what he likes to play with and how he likes to play, Mom can try to observe these two aspects and see if there is room for improvement. At the end of the day, there may be nothing wrong with the mother, but the father is a master at playing games with the children, which is why they love him so much.
Some adults are really attracted to children, and it’s a good thing if fathers can play so well with their children, so mothers really don’t need to be too concerned. If a mother feels lost or depressed because her children do not choose her, she should investigate whether there are aspects of her life that are not as good as she would like, such as feeling lonely, and the company of her son becomes very important to her. If this is the case, the mother needs to address her needs or seek help.
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Written by : Dr Cheung Kit
Every child has his or her own characteristics. As a parent, you may not be able to tell what your child is trying to express by their expressions, behaviors and vocalizations. Take the example of a child’s reaction to dozing, the form of expression varies from person to person.Some may cry, some may lose their temper, some may rub their eyes, or a variety of other reactions. Among the many reactions, in my position as a doctor,the most unwanted habit is “rubbing eyes” because this will easily cause inflammation.
Eye inflammation is not caused by unclean hands？
Interestingly, the inflammation was not due to the child’s unclean hands, but to other causes. In this case, the inflammation was not initially caused by bacteria, but by a blockage of the secretory glands near the eyelashes. When the hand rubs against the eye, the originally open ventral outlet is disrupted by the external pressure, causing pressure in the gland as the oil cannot be expelled, which then causes an inflammatory reaction. This inflammatory reaction is superficially the same as a normal bacterial inflammation. The difference is that in this case, antibiotics (topical and oral) are not effective. The correct method is to do warm compresses for your eyes, which is intended to open the blocked outlet and make the inflammation disappear slowly.
How to treat eye acne？
To treat an existing eye acne, besides seeing a doctor, the most basic method is to do warm compresses as described above. Choose a reheatable heat pack or use a lightly heated towel. Do warm compresses for 5 minutes, 3 times a day. The need for antibiotics is at the discretion of the doctor. However, the following principles apply.
– Whether the inflammation of the eye acne exceeds the normal case
– Is there any bacterial inflammation of the conjunctiva?
– Is the tissue around the eye red and painful?
– Whether the child is able to control his or her own eye rubbing to reduce the possibility of bacterial inflammation
Early treatment of ophthalmia
If the inflammation is not controlled, the swelling may not disappear on its own. In this case, surgical release of the swelling is a must. Although it may sound scary, the procedure is actually a simple one and only requires local anaesthesia. Therefore, parents only need to follow the doctor’s advice and they can rest assured.
All in all, our biggest fear is not that our children’s hands are dirty, but that they keep rubbing eyes. If the eye infection is caused by nasal allergy, eye allergy and eczema, parents must take it seriously. Parents should feel free to use medication when they want to, without having to worry about how long it will take and the side effects that may occur.