Category: Parenting Tips

I’m by Your Side

Post author By system
Post date 01/04/2024

Parenting Tips

Written by: Stage and TV scriptwriter Cheung Fei Fan

On a Saturday morning, I took my five-and-a-half-year-old son and three-and-a-half-year-old daughter to volunteer for flag selling for the first time. The little rascals were initially thrilled, but after the excitement wore off in three minutes, both of them started clamoring to go home. As parents, we of course understood; firstly, the weather was hot, and young children have limited patience; secondly, the streets were bustling with traffic and pedestrians rushing back and forth, and with their small statures, they were soon lost in the crowd. Passersby hurried on their way, paying no attention to them. The two little “emperors,” who are usually the center of attention, probably experienced being ignored for the first time in their lives. As a father, I secretly cheered, thinking this was a perfect opportunity for them to understand that they are not the center of the world. At the same time, it could also let them experience what it means to “every grain of rice is hard-earned.”

My wife and I observed from the sidelines, only intervening when absolutely necessary, letting the two little ones freely explore. Watching them go from being scared and disappointed to trying, failing, then helping each other, trying again, and finally succeeding, seeing the satisfied smiles on their faces when they received praise from passersby, my wife couldn’t help but tear up.

Coincidentally, that same evening, director Owen Jay invited my spouse and me to the premiere of his new work ” Distinction” The movie tells the story of a teacher (played by Jo Koo) at a special school preparing a musical with a group of special needs children, and a girl from a prestigious school (played by Jennifer Yu) who initially participates passively but eventually forms a deep bond with them.

The movie was certainly wonderful, but what moved me the most that night was after the screening, when the host invited one of the young actors to share his feelings about his performance. Without hesitation, the child loudly said in front of everyone, “I am very thankful to my mom for accompanying me during the filming of this movie.” At that moment, my eyes welled up with tears. For me, the most striking thing was the word “accompaniment.”

Special needs children may be slightly less capable in some areas compared to their peers, but they always possess an innocent heart. They are sensitive to love and can express their feelings candidly, and he just blurted out what is one of the most important responsibilities as a parent.

Sometimes, we may not need to ‘do’ something for our children; sometimes, simple ‘companionship’ may already be enough. This reminds me of when my son is at home building with LEGO, he often likes to ask me to sit beside him. Sometimes I wonder, thinking to myself, why do you need me sitting next to you while you play? But as I sit there, after a while, he suddenly turns his head, gives me a glance, and then continues to build his LEGO city with reassurance. In that fleeting moment, in his eyes, I saw panic, and then a fraction of a second later, he returned to calmness. It was then I realized that he had accidentally knocked down the LEGO building he had put together. But he did not ask for my help; he just wanted to confirm that dad was right behind him. It turns out, my ‘presence’ is his greatest pillar in overcoming difficulties. His big eyes seemed to say: “Great, you’ve been here all along, so I’m not afraid anymore.”

It’s important to know that companionship always has a time limit, and I only hope that we can live without regrets within that time limit.

Parenting Tips

Parental education, willing to learn and dare to do

Post author By system
Post date 01/04/2024

Parenting Tips

Written by: Dr. Chi-Yuen TIK, Chief Executive, The Hong Kong Institute of Family Education

In the journey of parental education, I love to listen to parents share their experiences and reflections on disciplining their children. Exchanging and encouraging each other is the most comprehensive content of parenting education. There is no place in the world that requires parents to pass an exam before they can have children. Everyone is learning as they go, realizing things later on, and gradually becoming “experienced” parents. Children have expectations of you, society has demands on you, and parents themselves cannot afford to be lazy, so they actively learn theories and techniques for disciplining their children.

I remember a father sharing how he dealt with his son’s request to buy sneakers when the son was in the eighth grade. He told his son he would give him four hundred dollars. Naturally, the son felt it was not enough, but the father told him that four hundred dollars could buy a pair of sneakers, and if it wasn’t enough, the son would have to figure it out himself. In the end, the son bought the sneakers he wanted, but the price was saving his breakfast and lunch money to make the purchase. He said although his son was happy with the new sneakers, he also experienced days of hunger, and in the future, he would think carefully before making a purchase. The father expressed that it was tough for him to see his son go through this, but he thought it was important for his son to understand the principle of living within one’s means, even if it meant letting his son experience it firsthand.

During a lecture on how to cultivate self-care abilities in young children, a mother of a K3 student shared that her son always relied on her to pack up his homework. Over time, her son’s dependence on her increased. After much reflection, the mother decided to apply what she had learned from parenting seminars. She told her son that he needed to take care of his own things and that she would no longer pack his school bag for him. She was also mentally prepared for her son to be reprimanded by the teacher for not handing in his homework. As expected, to avoid further scolding from the teacher, the son started to pack his school bag by himself every day. Although he may not yet fully understand the importance of taking responsibility for his own affairs, he has begun to take his own matters seriously and no longer relies on his mother’s “help.” The mother also stopped providing unconstructive help and care for her son.

After all, classroom learning is enjoyable, but practical application can be painfully insightful, with a mix of joys and challenges. While applying parenting techniques, it is also a challenge to the parents’ personal values and life experiences. Parents also need to have a balanced mindset and self-awareness. This is precisely the purpose of parenting education.

Parenting Tips

The underlying meaning of acne

Post author By system
Post date 01/04/2024

Parenting Tips

Written by: Dr Cheung Kit

I remember watching a terrifying TV show during my college days. It was about how a virus similar to Ebola spread among residents and outsiders in a certain area, leading to everyone’s death. In the drama, people infected with the virus would inevitably develop red rashes on their bodies even in the early stages. Therefore, many people have a deep impression that rashes represent serious diseases.

In fact, this is only half true. A rash is a symptom that can be a skin problem or a reaction to a systemic disease. Skin diseases can be simple skin sensitivities, mosquito bites, shingles, sunburns, etc. Systemic reactions can be due to drug sensitivities, infections, autoimmune disorders, etc. The previous statement “half true” means that among systemic reactions, some are more severe, while others are milder.

Severe examples include:

Drug Sensitivity: Since a rash is only a sign, the reaction can be very severe. Therefore, if this is the case, we generally handle and observe with extra caution.
Infectious (Acute): For example, measles, chickenpox, hand, foot, and mouth disease, German measles, mumps, etc. These diseases are highly contagious and also present with fever symptoms. So, in addition to worrying about the complications of the disease, we also worry about it spreading to others. Therefore, special care is needed.
Autoimmune Diseases: For example, lupus erythematosus, allergic purpura, etc. Since these conditions can have more systemic complications, the treatment goal is not to treat the rash but to address the underlying disease.

So what are the “other half” of rashes that are not serious?

Roseola: This is a type of rash ‘exclusive’ to young children. It is definitely a reaction after being infected with a certain filtrable virus. Whenever this rash appears, the fever has already completely subsided, which also indicates that the condition has stabilized. Generally, these rashes appear on the torso and then spread to the limbs and face. Since they are not itchy or painful, there is no need for special treatment.
Heat Rash (Prickly Heat): This is the result of blocked sweat glands. It is mostly caused by the environment being too hot or wearing too many clothes. Although there may be a little itching, it is not as uncomfortable as eczema, so it is not a serious problem. On the other hand, as long as the temperature of the affected area is lowered, the condition will improve.

Infant Eczema

Although infant eczema can be very itchy, it is time-limited. It generally starts from one month after birth and lasts until about six months. Moreover, it responds well to medication (such as medium-strength steroid creams). So, basically, as long as parents are willing to deal with it positively and follow the doctor’s treatment, there will be a good response.

Therefore, having a rash does not necessarily mean there is a big problem. However, if a rash occurs at the same time as fever, systemic symptoms, or poor mental state, it means it would be better to see a doctor sooner rather than later.

Parenting Tips

Is learning and being immersed in art really that important?

Post author By system
Post date 01/03/2024

Parenting Tips

Written by: Director of Pario Arts, Lee Sou Jing

Having worked in education for many years, I have encountered numerous parents who choose “quick-fix,” short-term courses or extracurricular activities for their children, which can be described as somewhat utilitarian. Conversely, they tend to undervalue non-utilitarian courses or activities that pursue aesthetics. Generally, what most attracts parents’ attention are subjects or talent classes where their children can participate in competitions, have certification ratings, or show significant results.

Art Education Has a Long-term Impact on Children

I firmly believe that under a utilitarian education system, there will be a profound impact on children’s future attitudes towards life.

Art education is unique, beautiful, and full of creativity. Children are not only learning the theory and techniques of art, but the process also stimulates their creativity and imagination. In the long run, art education greatly aids children’s behavior, as well as their learning and thinking.

Experiencing Art in Life

We encounter art in our daily lives every day. In life, we can find many beautiful things, such as rich emotions, different tastes, unique feelings, and visual enjoyment. All of these can provide a comfortable state of mind amidst a busy life, allow you to experience the diversity and fun of this world, and discover the preciousness of tranquil beauty.

Parents Need to Lead by Example and Value Their Children’s Thoughts

In fact, whether it’s intelligence education or art education that emphasizes the cultivation of aesthetics, I believe the most important thing is for parents to provide companionship and support to their children. If you want to cultivate an artistic temperament in your child, you should understand that art education starts with yourself, especially the need to listen, accept, and understand your child’s thoughts, and tolerate the ways they express creativity. Children will easily develop an aesthetic temperament from a young age.

Parenting Tips

Regain parents’ confidence

Post author By system
Post date 01/03/2024

Parenting Tips

Written by: Au Ka Leung, Registered Social Worker, Hong Kong Family Welfare Society

In 2012, it was the first year of the Hong Kong Diploma of Secondary Education Examination (HKDSE). Two years prior, I was already deeply concerned about how Form 3 students and their parents were dealing with the selection of subjects and the progression to higher education. Today, some students and parents have chosen to study abroad, leaving the local education scene. Of course, most students and parents have to face these changes, and I can only guide them with the limited public information and analysis available. For me and one of the parents, this journey is one of building confidence.

This parent has been asking questions about the new education system and exams over the past two years. In fact, he has become an expert by constantly updating himself with the latest information online, yet he still frequently asks teachers and social workers if his support and guidance for his children are appropriate. Over time, I realized that he is indeed a good father, but he lacks confidence in his son and his parenting skills.

His confidence is built on his son’s academic performance, behavior, and home environment. When discussing academic performance and behavior, one might think of exam scores and the child’s attitude towards revision. But what about the home environment? Due to his long working hours, this father only returns home after 9 pm, which is dinner time. He often mentions seeing his son pretending to be relaxed and watching TV dramas upon his return. Consequently, his understanding and guidance for his son are limited to what happens at home, leading him to distrust his son’s descriptions of school learning and after-school tutoring.

As a result, “Can you let me see you studying hard?” became this father’s mantra. Although the son wanted to explain to his father, “I work hard on my homework from class until late at night, can’t I even have a break?” his response was merely, “Oh,” leaving the father with nothing but helpless worries.

“Confidence” is a curious thing; when we see our children’s grades improve and their scores go up, we naturally feel confident. But why do we need confidence for something that has already happened? The confidence in our lives is partly transformed from personal experience, but true “confidence” is about having hope and good intentions for something that has not yet happened. Do not underestimate the power of saying, “With your abilities, you can do even better,” especially when the results are not as expected. Even a simple phrase can be enough to boost a child’s self-confidence and motivation. Being trusted by others is one of the elements that strengthen positive behavior. Expressing your good intentions with positive encouragement can bring hope to your son. In the workplace, the recognition and trust from your boss and clients are enough to allow you to come home with a relaxed mood. What a 16-year-old high school student, crying, longs for from his father is “to have a quiet meal with you.”

Dear parents, you are the witnesses to your children’s growth; they are not born failures. Over the past years, you have successfully brought them into the world, helped them grow, and learn. They have made efforts to turn over, walk, and attend classes, marking your success, “With your abilities, you can do even better.” Please regain “confidence” in yourself and them, and do not give up.

Parenting Tips

Organic food = nutritious?

Post author By system
Post date 01/03/2024

Parenting Tips

Written by: Registered Dietitian (Public Health) (UK) Phoebe Wu

Many families choose to consume organic foods such as fruits, vegetables, and eggs. When asked why they choose organic foods, most people respond: “Because organic food is safer and more nutritious.” In this issue, I will teach what organic farming is.

What is organic farming?

Organic farming refers to agricultural activities conducted using agricultural, biological, or mechanical methods instead of synthetic substances made by humans. It does not use chemical fertilizers, pesticides, or genetically modified crops, but rather utilizes local natural resources and adheres to the natural ecological order. The scope of consideration is very broad, for example: there must be a buffer zone of at least 2 meters between the organic production area of a farm and the non-organic areas to prevent contamination of the crops.

Crop and variety selection and diversity

Seeds or vegetative propagating organs used for organic cultivation must be organically certified.
Farms must implement crop rotation and intercropping and should diversify as much as possible to avoid monoculture.

Nutrient Management

Fertilization must be done in appropriate amounts to prevent nutrient excess and environmental pollution.
The fertilizers used on the farm should be harmless to the ecological environment in terms of their source, quality, application rate, and method of application.
Fallowing should be practiced to allow the land to recover its fertility.
The use of chemically synthesized fertilizers, human excreta, sewage sludge, and chemical waste is prohibited.

Management of diseases, pests, and weeds, as well as crop growth

Implement appropriate fertilization and irrigation management.
Use physical methods, including manual labor, fencing, light, sound frequency, heat, etc.
Plant crops that have pest control functions (including repelling pests and attracting natural enemies).
The use of chemically synthesized herbicides, fungicides, insecticides, and other pesticides is prohibited.

Hence, organic farming focuses more on ecological protection during the cultivation process. However, in terms of nutritional value, the difference between organic and non-organic food is actually not significant. Moreover, there is no evidence to suggest that children who eat organic food are healthier or smarter. Of course, since organic food is more environmentally friendly and uses fewer chemical pesticides, I also encourage everyone to purchase more of it.

Conventional Farming vs. Organic Farming

	Conventional Farming	Organic Farming
Safety	More commonly uses chemical pesticides and fertilizers.	-Fewer chemical pesticides. -Focuses on the ecological environment. -Uses non-genetically modified materials.
Nutrition	No significant difference
Health	Similarly, attention should be paid to the principles of a healthy diet low in fat, sugar, and salt.

Parenting Tips

How to discover hidden talents and potential?

Post author By system
Post date 01/02/2024

Parenting Tips

Written by: geneDecode Genetics Education Professional Team

Innate potential is an ability that everyone is born with, a genetic characteristic that is present before growth. From birth, each child possesses their own unique talents. In the process of a child’s growth, emotional intelligence, IQ, and the ability to withstand setbacks, among others, are all necessary conditions for success. Among these conditions, each child’s talents are different. Can we discover their innate talents in the innocent eyes of children? Can we be sure to capture these talents and guide the children on a path of growth that suits them?

Here is a mother’s experience:

‘Amy is 4 years old this year. As she grows up, she is becoming more and more curious about the things around her. Amy’s father noticed that she seemed to show a special interest in doodling when she was 2 years old. I casually gave her some paint, and she could use a brush, crayons, or her fingers, even a bottle of ketchup, to paint. No one knows what she is painting, maybe only she knows. Amy’s father and I both think that she should be allowed to grow freely. I found that she seems to like painting very much. If she is really good at it, I think we will definitely cultivate her well.’

Amy’s parents are wise. Each child has different talents hidden in different fields. When a child’s talent is found, if it can be cultivated and paid attention to by parents and teachers, it will save a lot of detours in the direction of success. However, the most important thing is for children to have a sense of success from a young age and grow up to be happy and confident people.

Scientific research confirms that the period of infant growth is the fastest and most sensitive period of brain development, and it is also the best time to develop a child’s talents. The cultivation of talents is time-sensitive, and scientists call this irreplaceable stage the ‘talent time window

Only at the most important and appropriate moments, with the right education and cultivation, can innate potential develop into real abilities. Missing these key moments of development, a child’s talents may relatively weaken, and their innate potential may no longer stand out. Here are some key moments for reference:

Key Moments for Talent Development

Memory: 12 months to 12 years old

Emotional Intelligence: 2 months to 22 years old

IQ: Birth to 13 years old

Music: 2 months to 5 years old

Drawing: Birth to 15 years old

Sports: Birth to 12 years old

‘Whether Amy can become a painter when she grows up, I can’t confirm, we are just observing. It can be said that it is completely based on feeling. Talent is hard to say, maybe she has talents in other areas, or sometimes it is not obvious, then it is hard for us to discover. We can only do our best and observe her from as many angles as possible.’

This is not just a worry for Amy’s mother. Every parent dreams of their child’s success, but the key is how to accurately discover a child’s talents.

Many parents are trying, hoping to find clues in their child’s behavior, hoping to find ways to discover a child’s talents early. Those parents who seem to have found a method, according to their own judgment and willingness, send their children to various specialty classes and youth classes to learn various skills, hoping that one day, they can become experts in this field. For this goal, parents spare no effort to invest a lot of money and time.

However, doing so seems to not only waste a lot of money and time, but also those originally intelligent children are more likely to lose their spirit in the multitude of educational directions, their talents are delayed or even obliterated. They passively move from one tutoring class to another specialty class, learning things they neither like nor are good at.

Childhood, for children, is no longer a memory of happiness and beauty, but of pressure and worry. The saddest thing is that when they grow up, they have more complaints about their parents.

Is there a better way to understand a child’s talents, personality, and traits, so as to teach students in accordance with their aptitude and cultivate them in a directed way?

Parenting Tips

Highly intelligent autistic children. Smart use of storybooks

Post author By system
Post date 01/02/2024

Parenting Tips

Written by: Educational Psychologist Team of the Heep Hong Society

Highly intelligent children with autism, i.e., those with intellectual and verbal abilities, are 5 to 6 years old. What kinds of books can parents let their children read? What are some tips for parents to read to their children?

Highly intelligent autistic children should be able to understand simple moral stories. Parents can refer to “social stories” to help their autistic children understand the content effectively. Once the child is familiar with the story, parents can change the main characters to other real people or to the child himself/herself, so that the child can gradually put himself/herself into the moral story. If the characters can be changed, then the storyline can also be changed a little bit: for example, “Grandma’s house” can be changed to “Auntie’s house”, so that the child can utilize what he/she has learned flexibly. Of course, it is important to change the characters and plots before children develop a stubbornness towards the details of the story. As for fables, fairy tales, and myths, which often use abstract metaphors, they can only be used when the autistic child can generalize his/her knowledge.

On the cognitive side, when the child has reached a certain level of comprehension, parents can emphasize emotional words in the story, e.g. “When she saw the dog, Mei Mei was scared. When it is appropriate for children to learn the concept of sequence, parents can emphasize the description of time, e.g., “Mei-mei did something wrong, and afterward, she said she was sorry. Depending on the level of the child, parents can make good use of each page of the storybook by adding or emphasizing appropriate words in the tone of voice.

In the aspect of parent-child communication, higher-ability children with autism can take turns with their parents to tell stories, which not only trains the child’s ability to follow the story and listen attentively but also deepens the child’s impression of the story. Flexible use of storybooks by parents can meet the developmental needs of children and promote parent-child communication. Children with autism often lack imagination. Storybooks with accompanying dolls can be very useful: Initially, the story is told, then the dolls are added, and gradually the use of the storybook is reduced until only the dolls are used to tell the story, using a “you say a sentence, I say a sentence” method, leading the child out of the storybook and into the world of imaginative play.

In terms of social cognitive development, parents who use comics can use correction fluid to paint over the “speech bubbles” of the characters, and then create new dialogues with their children. Initially, they can start by altering certain words, and as both parties become familiar with the method, they can alter more parts until all the dialogues are original. Parents who are willing to try can also create storybooks tailored to their children and design different storytelling methods to attract the social concepts needed for their children’s learning.

Parenting Tips

Parent-child creative art creation

Post author By system
Post date 01/02/2024

Parenting Tips

Written by: Director of Pario Arts, Lee Sou Jing

Everyone has creativity and artistic potential. If properly nurtured, it can enhance one’s moral sentiments and make life more perfect. In the artistic atmosphere, diverse activities inspire individuals’ creativity, aesthetic sense, and diverse abilities, promoting holistic development. ‘Love’ is the driving force of creation. In a free, democratic, safe, and harmonious environment and atmosphere, it is the expression of ‘love,’ emphasizing mutual tolerance, acceptance of different opinions, and respect for and acceptance of others. So, how can parent-child creative art creation express ‘love’? Here, the author shares his views with all parents.

The significance of parent-child creative art creation:

Art education starts with individuals. Parents try to engage in artistic creation to cultivate their children’s artistic accomplishments.
The first lesson of art education begins with ‘listening’ and ‘acceptance.’ Parents learn to accept the diverse ways in which children express their creativity.
Through the joint participation and experience of parent-child art creation, parents can get closer to and understand their children’s hearts.
Parent-child art creation helps children to understand themselves and release emotions and stress.
By integrating an atmosphere of mutual appreciation and respect, it reduces parental stress and anxiety, thereby enhancing parent-child relationships.
Making parent-child fall in love with creation, integrating art into life, and enhancing the quality of life.

Artistic Cultivation Tips

Cultivate a kind of knowledge in being human and enhance the ability to share, that is, ’empathy.’
According to the research of psychologist Hoffman on the development of human empathy, ’empathy’ is the ability to understand the feelings of others and to put oneself in their shoes.
The three steps of ’empathy’: (1) Imagine standing in the other person’s position (2) Identify the other person’s true feelings (3) Convey understanding and feelings to the other person.
Empathy’ is an important ability in interpersonal relationships. Only those with ’empathy’ can establish good interpersonal relationships, self-discipline, and a sense of responsibility.
Children at the age of 2 to 3 can already understand the feelings of others. In order for children to be compassionate, possess ’empathy,’ and understand love and care for others, it is very important for parents to lead by example.

Parenting Tips

How to cultivate a positive learning attitude in young children from an early age?

Post author By system
Post date 01/01/2024

Parenting Tips

Written by: Director of Pario Arts, Lee Sou Jing

The significance of parent-child creative art creation:

Art education starts with individuals. Parents try to engage in artistic creation to cultivate their children’s artistic accomplishments.
The first lesson of art education begins with ‘listening’ and ‘acceptance.’ Parents learn to accept the diverse ways in which children express their creativity.
Through the joint participation and experience of parent-child art creation, parents can get closer to and understand their children’s hearts.
Parent-child art creation helps children to understand themselves and release emotions and stress.
By integrating an atmosphere of mutual appreciation and respect, it reduces parental stress and anxiety, thereby enhancing parent-child relationships.
Making parent-child fall in love with creation, integrating art into life, and enhancing the quality of life.

Artistic Cultivation Tips

Cultivate a kind of knowledge in being human and enhance the ability to share, that is, ’empathy.’
According to the research of psychologist Hoffman on the development of human empathy, ’empathy’ is the ability to understand the feelings of others and to put oneself in their shoes.
The three steps of ’empathy’: (1) Imagine standing in the other person’s position (2) Identify the other person’s true feelings (3) Convey understanding and feelings to the other person.
Empathy’ is an important ability in interpersonal relationships. Only those with ’empathy’ can establish good interpersonal relationships, self-discipline, and a sense of responsibility.
Children at the age of 2 to 3 can already understand the feelings of others. In order for children to be compassionate, possess ’empathy,’ and understand love and care for others, it is very important for parents to lead by example.